Awakenings
by my-sparkles
Summary: Lindsay gave in. How is she going to deal with her problems and her feelings for Danny? How can Danny help her? Chapter 6 will she go to Montana?
1. Chapter 1

**Spoilers**: references to 'Oedipus Hex' and probably following episodes on later chapters.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters. I wish… sighs Mrs. Mallory though, is mine – an elderly sweet woman.

**A/N**: This is a sequel to Let It Go. Thank you so much for the reviews on that one. I really appreciated all of them. :)

I'm trying to build up Lindsay's past. I've changed my mind dozens of times about it, so I'm not actually sure how this is gonna turn. I'll have some more chapters on this fanfic (I hope you like it enough for that), probably with more action. Read it, tell me what you think, what you want to happen… All the reviews are highly welcome. Thanks a lot.

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**Awakenings**

Danny pulled slowly apart, just enough to make eye contact with her. He could never get enough of her eyes.

"So," his voice was low and she could feel the slight fear hided "are we okay?"

"We've never been other way Danny… I know I'm acting weird, I-I just…" her voice trembled and she took a deep breath, trying to not break down.

"I told you, you don't have to tell me anything." his hands were making small circles on her back, hoping she relaxed a little.

He lied… He did want to know what was happening to her. He wanted to help her. He wanted her to trust him. That would mean a lot for him. He wanted a chance to show he wouldn't screw this up – he would love her like she deserve it, he would love her like he had loved no one else (hell, he had never been in love before!). She was one of a kind and he didn't mind spend the rest of his life proving her that.

"I know you didn't… God! What have I done to deserve you? You shouldn't be close to someone so complicated---"

"Don't." Danny cut her off, soft but firmly "Where is that women so self-assured? So confident on her skills that actually made me have to prove myself to her…"

Lindsay smiled, remembering theirs labs competitions "I don't know if that woman ever existed…"

"Oh, she did and she stills…" Danny smirked his charming smile, leaning his back against the wall and bringing her with him "I'm the living proof of that." he hold her tighter, one hand caressing her hair, while she leaned her head again in his strong chest. His other hand was in her waist, gently touching the small amount of skin exposed between her top and the waistband of her pants.

Lindsay sighed, adjusting herself between his arms. She could lay there forever and forget everything else, just focusing on what he made her feel: the shivers, the trembling legs, the pounding heart and the incredible desire of kissing him and touch him senseless. She gave in a little more and the hands she had around his waist slid under his shirt, founding his back. She let them rest there, where it belonged.

Danny gulped silently at the feeling of her small hands in his back, but he continued to talk, caressing her hair, arm around her shoulders, his chin on her head.

"Ya know, that woman arrived here about a year ago and I was so determined to make her life a living hell. She was replacin' my best friend after all. But then she…" Danny struggled to find the right words "she revealed herself such a talented professional, willin' to learn, never turning her back on anythin', tackling down suspects, no matter how tiny she was." Danny felt Lindsay laugh quietly and he smiled openly "And she has this amazin' ability of strongly focus on her work, shutting down everythin' else. At the same time she puts so much passion on what she does that she just made me wish I could feel her passion too."

Lindsay lifted her head to talk, but Danny gently leaned it on his chest, so he could proceed. His voice was now lower, trembling a little bit "She's not only smart, funny, sweet or beautiful, she's the only one that puts me in my place when I deserve it, she's the only one that can tease as good as I… And she's the only one that has this loving soul, that after seeing so many trash on duty line stills believin', stills wantin' to have faith on mankind. And to that takes a lot." Danny took Lindsay's right hand, putting it right where she could feel his heart "And she's definitely the only one that makes my heart beat like this…"

Lindsay eyes were now locked on Danny's and free tears were running down her face. She didn't even bother on clean them. No one had ever told her something like that.

"She's so special and she doesn't even have a clue how unique she is. And nothin', absolutely nothin' is gonna make me think less of her or change the way I feel." Danny was wiping her tears, his own sparkling on his eyes as he continued "Do you know her name?"

Lindsay shook her head no. She couldn't spell a word.

"Lindsay Monroe… Montana forever…" he whispered looking straight into her eyes. The emotions he saw there overwhelmed him – he saw fear, some sadness and anxiety, but he also saw a confidence he didn't capture in a while, determination and yes… it was there. He didn't make that up. He could feel it on the way she trembled under his touch, he could see it on her bright brown eyes, damn, he could even sense it on her silence. It was love.

Lindsay moved closer… She had nothing to loose. He opened to her. She knew she could trust him. She didn't want to involve him in her mess, but she didn't have the strength to keep him away. She would just take what he was willing to give. And what she desperately wanted to accept and give him back.

She put her hand on his face touching it gently and Danny felt his heart pound harder (if that was possible!). No one had ever touched him with such tenderness… If Lindsay continued to look at him like that, touching him so softly and so close to him, he wouldn't resist. He was going to kiss her. He leaned his head against the wall, expecting to regain some self-control. He didn't want to push or rush anything, even if needed it and wanted it desperately. He closed his eyes.

"Don't…" Lindsay said on a delicate tone, while her hand stilled on his cheek and the other one was caressing his neck, pulling his head off the wall and closer to her. She had already made her decision. No turning back.

"What?" Danny asked. He could barely speak. He was lost on her touch, he was lost on her skin. The same skin he hadn't stop caressing at all.

"Don't close your eyes. I love them. I could lost myself on those blue eyes…" they locked their gaze again and Lindsay's thumb moved to Danny's lips.

His hands were stroking her back, under her top, close to her waist. He pulled her to him and felt her shiver in anticipation. He smiled lightly and started to lean his head towards her. She licked her lips and he was lost.

The moment their lips touched, the whole world disappeared and they tasted each other slowly. Danny's tongue started to lick Lindsay's low lip, demanding entrance. And she parted her lips sighing. Danny didn't hesitate and they both started to kiss passionately.

One of Lindsay's hands was touching his nape with her fingernails, making him quiver and moan into her mouth. Danny grabbed Lindsay's waist tightly and one of his hands started to trace the line of her spine. She trembled and kissed him harder in response.

"Cough, cough"

They suddenly pulled apart when they heard someone coughing.

"Detective Monroe." an elderly woman greeted Lindsay.

"Mrs. Mallory." Lindsay was blushing furiously and thanked it was dark night and her neighbor wasn't able to see how embarrassed she was. Danny was looking down, his hand stroking his hair, as he tried to regain his posture and slow down his breath.

"Are you going in dear? It's a little cold out here. Although I think you don't feel it at all."

Lindsay never wanted more to hide herself in a hole "I'll get in… hum… soon."

"Okay then." Mrs. Mallory unlocked the entrance door and got in, not before saying "That's a handsome man you got there Detective."

They both started to giggle, like kids caught up doing some nonsense. Lindsay grabbed Danny's jacket and buried her head on his neck.

"I can't believe this. Looks like I'm on High-School again" Danny's arms encircled Lindsay "See what you do to me Montana?"

She smiled. She missed him calling her that. She liked when he called her Lindsay with his deep, soft tone. But Montana was… ah, it was Montana!

"I make a great hot chocolate. Wanna come in?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This is the second chapter of 'Awakenings'. Although this chapter is still fluffy, the next ones won't be that much, 'cause we'll acknowledge Lindsay's past. So there will be a little drama, yes, but you know, shipper's heart always gets louder. I promise I'll compensate in the end.

I'm sorry for not updating sooner. My life went crazy this week. But I won't be this late next time.

And no, I don't own any of the characters.

And for all that reviewed this story **thank you so much**, because that helped me keep going with this. :)

And a big thanks to **Kennedy**, for puuting up with me. :)

**Chapter Two**

Lindsay put the key on the door and started to unlock it.

"Sure you want me to come in?" Danny was touching her arm gently.

"What?" Lindsay frowned, confused "Why? Don't you wanna come in?"

"It's not that. It's because I really, really, really want to come in ya know?" Danny was staring at Lindsay with a suggestive look and his best grin on his face "Look what happened when we were here outside. Imagine what might happen in there…"

Lindsay blushed, remembering how they had just kissed, but mostly imagining what could happen once they got inside her apartment. She wanted it to happen. She absolutely did.

"It won't happen anything we don't want to…" she said, looking down, unable to return his gaze "I just offered you hot chocolate."

"Right…" Danny sighed in frustration, pacing a little around, his hands on his hips and his head down "like I can control around you, Montana…" Danny pinched his nose and lifted his head, looking straight to Lindsay, coming to her "I don't think hot chocolate when you invite me in. I think hot… hum… hot… stuff, but chocolate is not one of them, believe me." Danny was now inches from Lindsay again, his voice hoarse and low.

Lindsay smiled. The pink color of her cheeks would stay there eternally if he kept saying things like that. A shiver went down her spine, while her mind traveled to the hot… 'stuff' Danny was referring to.

Danny put a finger on her chin, so she would look at him. Lindsay's right hand rested on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. She was caged on his intense blue gaze and she was trapped on his husky, but soft voice.

"Linds, I don't wanna do anythin' wrong. Not with you! I don't wanna rush things between us. I know you're on a tough moment now and I don't wanna take advantage of that." Danny's thumb was caressing her chin and his other hand was in her hip, holding her close to him "I came here to see if you're ok. Yes, I want to kiss you and touch you and feel you and I want you to feel it to. God, I want it so badly! But we got time, 'cause I'm not goin' anywhere."

Lindsay's eyes were full of tears once more and she just put her hands around his neck, closing her eyes and feeling him against her. Danny encircled her waist, burying his head on her hair. He just wanted to breathe on her scent, so he took it home with him. He knew he would never forget her fruit-honey hair's aroma. It would be his company for sleep this night. Or not sleep…

They pulled apart and theirs foreheads met. Danny clutched Lindsay's face with his hands "I want so much to come in, that I better go…" Lindsay grabbed one of Danny's hands by the wrist, sliding it to her mouth and kissing his palm. He gulped.

"Thank you…" she whispered, keeping hold of his hand, intertwining theirs fingers.

"For what?"

"Being here, caring, and… uh" she bitted her lip "for waiting. I know you're not exactly a patient man, when it comes to… uh, you know." she shrugged.

Danny laughed "I know… Let's say is the Monroe effect on me." he grinned and Lindsay smiled shyly, biting her lip again "And please, don't bite your lip. Got other plans for it…" Danny started to kiss her slowly, deepening the kiss when he felt she allow him. During this moment the everything was blur: city lights, people talking, traffic noises…

It was just the two of them and their incredible connection.

They pulled gradually, neither of them really wanting to let go.

"You better go inside, babe…" Danny pulled a strand of Lindsay's hair behind her ear.

"Babe?" Lindsay chuckled, actually liking how it sounds said by him, but not wanting to admit "Who could ever tell that Danny Messer could be this fond? You're going to ruin your reputation."

Danny giggled "Then you can't tell anyone. It will be our secret."

"And what it's in it for me?" Lindsay arched her brow, mischievous smile on her face.

"I can think on a lot of things, but for now I can keep calling you 'babe' and Montana, Lindsay and Linds, only to you…" he leaned whispering in her ear "This meaning that you've got me all to yourself." he pulled away, staring at her "Is it fair enough?"

Lindsay's temperature rose highly "I think we got a deal, Detective."

"Good, good… Now get in, miss."

Danny walked to the door, unlocking it with Lindsay's key that had been forgotten there. He opened the door and she got in.

"I know I said this before, but thank you Danny. It meant a lot to me. YOU mean a lot to me…" she stroked his stubble face.

Danny kissed her knuckles "Try to get some rest. See ya tomorrow." he kissed her cheek, knowing if he kissed her lips he wouldn't leave. Lindsay closed the entrance door as Danny descended the stairs. He was already on the sidewalk when Lindsay unexpectedly reopened the door.

"Danny" he turned to her "call when you get home, okay?"

"Worried somethin' can happen to me Montana? I grew up on this city."

"That too." Lindsay had her head leaned on the door, while holding it opened "But the main reason is I want your voice to be the last thing I hear before I go to sleep."

Danny smiled openly "I can help you with that. You bet I'll call."

"Good." and then she just went inside, leaving Danny Messer looking to a closed door.

He shook his head, walking towards his car. He got in and leaned his head on the seat. He grinned. He licked his lips trying to feel her taste again. He put his fingers on his lips, assuring himself it hadn't been a dream.

* * *

In the exact moment, Lindsay had closed the door of her apartment, leaning on it and touching her lips. She could still feel his lips on her, warm and soft, yet demanding and passionate. She chuckled and walked towards her bedroom.

* * *

Danny laughed in his car when he realized what he was doing and he turned the engine on, driving to his place, his mind filled with images of Lindsay: Lindsay smiling, with tears in her eyes, teasing and joking, surrendering to him... She was a permanent occupant of his heart.

* * *

Lindsay slid under her covers, staring at the ceiling, her brain spinning around her problems and the peace Danny offered her. 

Her phone rang. She smiled and picked it up "Got home safe Messer?"

On the other line Danny laughed "As safe as I can be, since you kinda started this fire inside me…"

"Glad to know I'm not the only one on fire."

He grinned at the acknowledgement of the power he had over her. He had felt it, but he liked to hear her admitting it "So, ready to sleep?"

"Now I am." her voice was becoming sleepily.

"Sleep tight baby."

"'night Danny."

"'night Montana." 'I love you' were the unspoken words that crossed his mind when he hung up.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** This episode is a little longer because I tried to incorporate the Suicide Girls' case on it. There are small hints of Lindsay's past and the nest two chapters (the final ones) will reveal it all. I hope you enjoy it and sorry if it is too long.

This chapter contain references to 'Oedipus Hex'. To this fanfic, I just chose to ignore 'Hung Out to Dry' Maybe I'll incorporate it later. I don't know. If you hadn't seen Oedipus Hex, try to see it, so you understand this better. I tried to resume the case, but I don't know if it's good enough for someone who didn't see the episode. Some D/L lines are close quotes of that episode. The definition of the Suicide Girls is a quote from the CBS site.

And I don't own the characters (except for Lindsay's relatives).

I really hope you like it. And give me your opinion, because it means a lot.

Oh, and I can assure Lindsay's past is not connected to former boyfriends or stalkers. Not everything is what it looks like.

Thanks for reading it. :)

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**Chapter Three**

Lindsay walked into her office, with a huge smile on her face. She had some paper work to do relating to their prior case, so she sat on her desk, peeking at Danny's empty desk. She hadn't seen him this morning. It wasn't unusual, though. She always got to work a little earlier.

"Lindsay" she turned her head to face her boss "good morning."

"Good morning Mac." she smiled.

"Better today?" he asked, concern on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you bumped into me yesterday, you were on the verge of crying and you were running off here in a hurry."

"Wow! You got all that when I bumped into you for like what?... 3 seconds?" she joked "That's why you're a great CSI. Best observation skills."

"I appreciate the compliment, but don't change the subject. Besides that, it also happens I know your file, I know what is coming after you around these days. So, I'm going to repeat my question. Are you feeling better today?"

"Yes, I am. Thank you Mac. I'll get over this."

"Never doubt it for a second. You know my door is opened, right?" she nodded "Sometimes you can't make it on your own Lindsay. And asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Is a sign of strength – strength to recognize our own limitations. And believe me, it takes a lot of force to do that."

"Coffee anyone?" Danny approached Lindsay's desk with two cups of coffee on his hands. She didn't know how long he was there "Monrnin' Mac, Montana."

"Hey Danny" Lindsay whispered. Her voice was close to crack because of what Mac had told her but also because she had the feeling that Danny had listen to it.

"Good morning Danny." Mac greeted "I would accept that offer but I think that coffee already has a destination."

"Sorry Mac. No idea you'd be here." Danny was avoiding Lindsay's gaze, walking around the office, putting the cups of coffee on his own desk, picking up his own reports.

"No problem Danny. I'll get it myself. And Lindsay---" he looked pointedly at her.

"I know Mac, I know."

Mac walked out of the office and Lindsay turned her gaze at Danny, sat at the corner of his desk, staring at her, trying to read her emotions. Nervously Lindsay walked on Danny's direction.

"So, Mac knows?" this question was burning his lips the moment he heard them talking – Mac referring to her file, offering help and even an advice.

"How long were you there?"

"Don't answer my question with another question Montana." Danny had a serious aspect, one Lindsay didn't see too often.

"He knows all of it, okay?" she snapped "He was the one who hired me, so obviously he knows it." Danny stilled silent "What? God, Danny, say something!"

"What can I say? He's your boss, he knows your file, obviously." he remarked a little sarcastically "And answerin' your question, I heard from the moment Mac thanked you some compliment. Which compliment, by the way?" he arched his eyebrow.

"I just told him he has amazing observation skills and that's why he's a great CSI." Lindsay shrugged, approaching Danny "Can I get my coffee now?" she leaned and extended her harm to get to the mug, but Danny grabbed her wrist, stroking its inside gently.

"I'm sorry Linds. I told you that you have all the time in the world to talk to me and I pushed. Sorry. It's just---"

"You thought no one knew, right?" he nodded, his hand caressing her harm "But Mac only knows because he has to. If I had a choice he wouldn't have known at all."

"Why, Lindsay? If it's hurting you so much why don't you share it with someone? Mac's right ya know?"

"Are you agreeing with Mac?" Lindsay frowned "You can't be feeling okay Messer. Sure you don't got any fever?"

Danny chuckled putting behind his back any office protocol and placing an arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him "On this I have to agree with him. Sometimes you can't make it on your own."

Her hands around his neck, feeling his cut hair "I know Danny. But it hurts just thinking about it. And talking… God!" she closed her eyes, feeling Danny tighten his grip.

"It'll hurt a lot less, you'll see." he whispered "But do it on your time, okay?" she nodded "Better get back to work, right? Brought you coffee. It might be a little cold now, but…" he placed the mug on her hand and she wrapped both of them around it.

"Thank you." she leaned and gave him a kiss on the cheek, walking towards her desk.

* * *

"What's goin' on? You all right?" Danny asked right behind her.

Mac had just handed her the camera so she could snap some photos of the dead young girl lying in front of her. Lindsay's mind had just travelled away from that crime scene the moment she saw the girl. Mac needed to call her twice to bring her back to the present.

"Yeah. I'm fine." she knew he hadn't believed her, concern in his eyes and voice.

They processed the crime scene though, Lindsay putting all her focus on the job, reuniting all the strength she could find to proceed with the investigation.

* * *

The young girl, Carensa Sanders had run from home to join the Suicide Girls, a group of punked out, pierced, glam women who embrace their uniqueness. On this group every women assumed the same last name: Suicide. Carensa's name was Omen Suicide.

Danny and Lindsay were together at the lab, talking about the possible murder weapon when Sid Hammerback got in.

"You two have a visitor. Carensa Sanders' mom is in the confront room."

Lindsay's eyes widened open and she froze.

"Did you tell her to come down?" Danny asked her.

"No."

"Why don't you take it? I'm gonna follow with the shoe polish."

"Oh sure! Leaving me with the distrait mom? Stick Lindsay with the job nobody wants." she reacted.

"Hey, what's the matter with you? You've been acting funny since we got to the crime scene." Danny was surprised with her reaction, but also worried about what have ignited it.

"Look, I need you to take this, okay?" she pleaded.

"Why?" he confronted her.

Lindsay looked down, shook her head, trying to get an answer for that "I'm no good with mothers. All right? Fathers I can give bad news to all day long. Mothers, I can't face it. I need you to take this."

"All right. Okay. I got it." Danny knew this had something to do with what she didn't want to reveal and he wanted her to open up to him. But right now, he just wanted her to be okay. So, he went to meet Mrs. Sanders.

* * *

Lindsay was peeking behind the window, seeing Danny get slapped, seeing Mrs. Sanders grieve. And she felt guilty. This feeling that never abandoned her.

Danny shouldn't have taken that slap. She should. It should be her in there, not him. And he didn't fight back. Like she hadn't…

She kept walking, towards the locker room. She put some water in her face, trying to calm down, expecting to wash all those heavy, hard feelings she thought she had buried deep down her soul. She put her hands on the edge of the washbasin and looked into the mirror above it. She actually looked through the mirror.

_Slap! "You should have know!" Slap "You're a cop!" Slap_

_Lindsay didn't move a muscle. She just felt it… Slap, slap, slap, until someone stop it._

Lindsay's phone rang, bringing her back to reality.

"Monroe."

"Where are you? I got the results on the shoe polish."

"How did it go?"

"What?"

"You know what, Danny. With Mrs. Sanders."

"As good as it could be when you tell someone her runway daughter is dead."

"Right." Lindsay sighed "I'll meet you in the lab in a minute."

* * *

They were experimenting different shoe heels, trying to figure it out witch one could have been the murder weapon. And they found a match on a green stiletto one.

"Let me give this dummy a beat." Danny pointed the dummy and Lindsay brought it close to him. He got ready to beat the dummy: shoe on his hand and helmet's visor down. He was ready to beat it when Lindsay interrupted him.

"Wait. Let me get out of the way…" her voice childishly sweet, amusing grin on her face, like those times when they joked around and teased each other.

He beat it once, twice, three times, four times.

"Is it safe?" Lindsay approached.

"I'll tell you one thing. Whoever did this had blood all over it. I mean, look at me. I look like something out of that movie 'Saw'."

Hawkes got into the room, joking around and handling them a promotional flying of nine suicide girls that used the same style and color shoes they were testing. They just have to call all of them down and start the interviews. Adam was going to analyze their green stilettos and verify if they had the victim's blood.

* * *

Lindsay grabbed the kid's helmet that fall to the floor, while Danny run, chasing after the kid on the motorcycle. _Oh my god! He's gonna kill himself!_ Lindsay's heart was beating fast, while she grabbed the helmet with both hands and saw Danny tackling down the kid, sliding through the floor.

Their return to the precinct, now with the kid on the backseat, was made almost in silence. Almost, because Lindsay couldn't take anymore.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

"Nah. I'm fine." he placed a hand on her knee, squeezing it and smiling at her, reassuringly.

They arrived to the headquarters and Danny took the kid to the interrogation room. Lindsay went to process the Harley Roadster along with Hawkes. She found Omen's blood on the kid's helmet.

YMonster was the kid's nick name, real name Albert, Al for short. Al like the tattoo he had made on Omen, saying 'Till Death Tear Us apart… Omen and Al.' But he was the wrong Al. The right Al was Alice Suicide, Omen's girlfriend and lover. He had hooked up with Omen and thought he was making their own love tattoo. When he found out he wasn't the Al Omen was in love, he beat her with her own shoes. He got rid of them, but he jammed her hand between his boot and his motorcycle's pedal, leaving an identifiable trace on her hand.

* * *

When Lindsay reached him, Danny was heading to the room where Mrs. Sanders was waiting.

"My turn." she grabbed the video tape Carensa had made when she applied to the Suicide Girls. They were returning it to her mother "I'll do it."

"You sure?" Danny had seen determination on her gaze, but he wanted to be certain.

"Yeah." they locked eyes "It's the job."

Danny watched her walk into the room, proud and apprehension mixed up. He knew she had to do this by herself, so he went to grab his coat to leave. He would call her later or maybe he'd just show up at her place with some take out food. He knew that after a day like this, she would go straight home.

He was leaving when he saw the whole group. All the Suicide Girls. One of them came to him.

"Nixon Suicide, right?" he pointed, knowing he was right "You're free."

"Never wasn't." she inclined her head to her side a bit "Feel like going out for a couple of cocktails? Maybe not a couple. See where the night takes us."

_Is she actually hittin' at me? _"Wow." Danny looked at his side "Gotta say that's very tempting, but don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe next time."

Nixon slip her finger through his nose. _What the hell does she think she's doing?_ Danny thought.

"Be with a Suicide Girl. Don't know what you're missing." and she joined her group, all of them leaving the station, while Danny watched, frozen on his feet._ Did I actually turn them down? Man, Montana had me wrapped around her little finger, that's for sure._

He was so lost in his thoughts than he didn't notice a man approaching. A tall, brown-haired man, with green eyes, with a bouquet of white magnolias on his hands.

"Excuse me." the man directed to Danny.

"What can I do for ya?"

"I'm looking for Lindsay Monroe." he had Danny's full attention now. He could tell by the accent that the man wasn't from New York.

"Excuse me, who?" Danny kept looking from the man to the flowers; from the flowers to the man.

"Lindsay Monroe. She's a CSI at NYPD, right?"

"Yeah. Right, right." Danny was confused, looking at this man from head to toe "I'm Danny Messer. I work with Lindsay. I'll go call her for you. Could you tell me your name?

"Brian Doherty."

Danny walked up, fast speed, his head full of questions about the presence of this man on Lindsay's life. He was in New York looking for her. And with his flowers on his hands! That had to mean something.

He found her in the same room where she and Mrs. Sanders had been. She was sat at the table, hands grasping the edge of it, her head down. If Danny hadn't been so unsure and angry he would have noticed she was shaken by all it had happened.

"Who the hell is Brian Doherty?" he blurted.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** This story is coming to an end. On this chapter we come close to acknowledge Lindsay's past. I'm updating the final chapter real soon.

On italic words we have Lindsay's memories; the centered italic words are part of a song from Keith Urban, called "Tonight I Wanna Cry". I borrowed them. Hope he doesn't mind.

Again, I only own Brian Doherty. The other characters belong to CBS.

**Thank you so much for your reviews**. It helped me a lot and kind of gave me the incentive to go on. So, PLEASE, read it and tell me what you think of it, give me any opinions, ideas if you want. It is really important to me know how you feel this story.

Thank you for reading it. :)

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**Chapter Four**

Lindsay raised her head quickly, staring at Danny. She actually hadn't listened to his question. She was lost on her own thoughts.

"What?" she frowned.

"You heard me Montana! Who is Brian Doherty? Why is he here lookin' for you with magnolias on his hands?" Danny spoke fast, each word full of an irritation that only covered his fear of losing her.

"Brian's here?" Lindsay jumped out of the table to the floor, walking towards the door "Where is he? Is he downstairs?"

"Why you're not answerin' me?" Danny grabbed Lindsay's arm, stopping her from walking to the door.

"What is wrong with you?" Lindsay disentangled her arm from Danny's grip, which didn't react, although his all body was tense and his gaze screaming pain and confusion "You can't possible think…" she shook her head, looking down, her face tensing and suddenly she locked her eyes with Danny's "What kind of woman do you think I am? Like these girls you're used to hook up?"

"I didn't say---" he tried to touch her again, but she stepped away and that hurt more than any ache Danny had ever felt before. She was pulling away. Away from him. Him!

"You didn't have to Danny. It was written all over your face." Danny moved on her direction, but Lindsay put her hands up, sign of stop "Don't Danny. Don't touch me, don't come close to me, just don't! I wouldn't bear it."

Danny passed his hand through his hair, his jaw clenching tight "You still didn't answer my question. It's what you seem to do better lately…" he looked straight at her, cursing himself when he saw tears dancing in her eyes, knowing he was the reason of them.

Lindsay swallowed hard before she answers him "I don't have to tell you anything, Danny, but for the record, Brian Doherty is my older brother." Danny's eyes widened in shock "Half-brother in fact. Brian's father died in Vietnam. Brian was three years old. Four years later my mother remarried with my father. Brian kept his father's name, though. Way of honour him, I think." Danny still silent while Lindsay's voice became tired "My mom is a florist and plants flowers on the ranch. We used to help her gather them. Guess what? I usually picked up the magnolias." Lindsay walked to the door, her hand on the knob.

"Lindsay…"

"You know what they mean?" Lindsay turned to Danny, hand still on the knob. He shook his head no, because words were more than trapped on his throat "Besides nobility it means dignity, Danny. And my dignity wouldn't allow me to involve with you the way I did if I was already involved with someone else." she wiped a tear that escaped "And you know what hurts the most? To know that you thought that, to feel that the first thing it came up to your mind when you saw him was that he had to be romantically involved with me."

"I never said that!"

"Okay, then deny it. Look at me in the eyes and say it didn't cross your mind."

Danny looked away, hands on his hips, trying to prevent his own tears from falling, because now he knew she was slipping away. For good… Far away… And he was about to lose what gave sense to his life.

"That's what I thought." Lindsay gulped, her last hope of being wrong faded "I'm going to meet my brother now because I don't see him since I moved here." and she turned the knob, opening the door and leaving. Leaving Danny behind. Again… Standing alone. Again…

When Danny reached the already closed door he didn't opened it. He locked it, leaning his back on it and sinking to the floor. And he cried. Alone. In a NYPD room he let his tears down, almost sobbing, realizing how much he already missed her touch, her scent, her kiss, her laugh; knowing what he wanted to share with her and was now away from becoming true; hurting on what he hadn't even lived with her.

* * *

"Brian!" Lindsay called the 6'1'' tall man, when she saw him at the entrance door of the precinct. He turned around, big smile on his face, while he opened his arms to receive her. She hold him on his waist and he brushed her hair. 

"Hey tiny girl! How's New York been treating you? Let me look at you." they pulled apart and Brian scanned Lindsay from head to toe and focused later on her face "You look tired. Have you been working too much? You always worked too much back home. Have you been eating properly? I remember how you barely eat – lack of time you said."

"God Brian, I missed all of this…babbling." Lindsay was openly laughing now and grabbed the magnolias from her brother's hands "Are these for me?" she buried her head on it, feeling and sniffing them, memories of home invading her mind.

"You know they are." Brian's smile faded a little "You also know what day is today and tomorrow. And I didn't want you alone, at least on one of them. You left almost a year ago, but it is the first time you're away from home on this particular day. And you couldn't be okay. I know you aren't…"

"Where are Sue and the kids? How are you here, I mean---" Lindsay was putting up a front and trying to change the subject.

"Lindsay, don't run from this."

"I'm not, Brian! I just don't wanna discuss this here. I work here, okay?

"You haven't told anyone?"

"No."

"You should have talked to someone! It's not good keep that so bolted inside of you. It will explode sooner or later, sweetie." Brian's concern was detectable by far on his voice "Absolutely no one knows?"

"Mac knows – he read my file, so he knows." voice low and gaze on the floor "And Danny is bugging me about it."

"Danny? Montana guy?" Brian's eyebrow arched "Is this the same guy that went to call you?" she nodded "I didn't even relate it. I should have told him I was your brother. And analyze him a little better. After all, he has my sister's heart." Lindsay smiled sadly, remembering what had happened ten minutes ago "And I bet you stole his too."

"I don't know…" Lindsay sighed "Will you wait here? I'll go get my stuff and we can head to my place. Where are Sue and the kids anyway? And you didn't tell me why you are here…"

"I'm here because I want to be with my little sister. Sue stayed at home with the kids. I have this conference about Equine Practitioner tomorrow at The School of Veterinary Medicine, in Tufts University. I rented a car and I'll be driving there this evening."

"But that's in Massachusetts! And it's not exactly Boston… I mean, it's almost four hours from here…"

"I know. That's why I'll be living right after we have dinner together. And the hotel is already booked, so… I really wanted to see you today, so I came early. I'll go to the conference and I'll be back again. I won't be able to be here tomorrow, though." sorrow on his voice.

"There's nothing going on tomorrow. You know I don't care for that." she shrugged.

"You don't care for that for the last four years. Before that, you did." Brian stroked her arm when he felt her memories were back with full strength "It will be okay, Lindsay, you'll see. You can't keep living like this. You're nearly twenty-nine. You have all life in front of you. And you have to start living it!"

"I'm gonna get my stuff." Lindsay mumbled.

* * *

Danny was closing his locker when Lindsay walked in the locker room. He had gone there to wash his face, expecting to erase any signs of what the last thirty minutes had been for him. 

They stared at each other, no muscle movement for what it seemed an eternity.

"I'm…uh…I-I need to…" Lindsay pointed her locker, Danny still looking at her, like he wanted to memorize every detail of her features.

"Your brother stills downstairs?" Danny managed to ask. She nodded, while she grabbed her coat and her purse. Danny looked at the flowers, lying on the bench close to her "Those would fit well on your desk."

Lindsay looked at him surprised and for the first time she noticed the unmistakable marks of tears on his intense blue eyes and her heart tightened and she hold her breath a little. He didn't move and didn't try to cover his ache. It hurt so much being so close, let away so far, that it had become a physical pain.

"Lindsay, we're gonna have to talk about this...uh…this…" he sighed "about us. Sooner or later. And I honestly don't know how much more I can take." he whispered.

Lindsay just nodded "My brother has a vet conference tomorrow in Massachusetts. He'll be living today, but he wants to take me to dinner first. I better go. He gotta drive 'til North Grafton, so…" she hoped he noticed she was just delaying their talk. She wanted to talk with him too. She didn't know the end of it, didn't know how the two of them would be after that, but this situation was unbearable.

"That's a long drive." Danny didn't want to let go the chance to connect with her again "So, you're brother is a vet?" he came closer. Danny Messer was the master on that. He was approaching her inch by inch, expecting she'd be distracted by the conversation. He had to bond with her again. No matter what…

"Yeah." her smile was tiny, but it was there. She was smiling at him and if he could he would have tossed fireworks "He took a degree on Animal and Range Sciences, at Montana State University. And then he went to Washington and took a vet degree in Pullman." her pride for him was noticeable. She then noticed Danny was really, really close and she stepped away a little "I-I gotta go."

Danny gulped and cleared his throat "I'll go down with you. I'm leaving anyway." he opened the door for her and they walked in silence until they reached the elevator. She was frantically looking for something on her purse.

"God! I can't believe this! Can this day go any worst?" Danny lifted his eyebrow questioningly. Her abrupt reactions had been a constant recently and that was totally out of her character "Damn." he didn't remember ever hear her cursing "I forgot my cell phone. I have to go get it. I'm on call tonight. Will you tell my brother---"

"Don't worry. I'll tell him to wait." he got in the elevator, seeing her disappear in the locker room again.

* * *

Danny reached the reception where he spotted Brian Doherty, not before looking around for a while. He hadn't paid much attention the first time he saw him. His mind was racing trying to answer all the questions he was mentally posing. 

Brian was sat in a chair, reading some documents. Danny deduced it was something related with the conference.

"Dr. Doherty." Brian rose from the chair, shaking the hand Danny had hold in front of him "I'm sorry about earlier. I was---"

"Trying to figure out who I was." Brian completed, smiling frankly "And please, not Dr. Doherty. I'm aware I'm eight years older than Lindsay, but not enough to be called Dr. outside professional settings."

"Well, Montana…" _Way to go Messer! Call her Montana when you're talking to her OLDER brother._ he thought, rubbing his mouth, like he could take back what he had said "Sorry. Hum… Lindsay forgot her cell on her locker. She'll be down in a couple of minutes."

"I like the Montana name. But is good that Lindsay is a little delayed. I'd like to have a few words with you if that's okay."

Danny didn't hide his surprise "A few words? With me?" the both man sat on the nearest empty chairs.

"Yes. And don't worry. If you've had lived with Lindsay since ever you'd have learned you can't be overprotective. She hates that someone threatens her independence. Not even her father won the right to do it, so… I found out since she's sixteen that she can take care of herself." Danny grinned, knowing from self-experience how Lindsay was independent "But that doesn't mean I don't worry about her, specially since she moved here." Danny was silent, just nodding at what Brian was saying to him "Lindsay doesn't express herself emotionally like most women. You have to learn how to get to her so you can read her. After that, she's an open book. Besides me, I don't know much people who actually can reach her that deep. But I know you're very close to it, because I know what you mean to my sister." the both man looked in the eyes and Brian smiled. Life experience gave him the gift of reading people and Danny's feelings were detectable in every gaze, every movement, every breath "And I can almost swear she means a lot to you."

Danny sighed, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, hands intertwined, head a little down because his feelings were very close to the surface right now and he couldn't possibly face another person in the eyes when he was like that. At least, no one else besides Lindsay. But he felt he could trust Brian and open up a little to him. He was giving him space for that.

"I really care about your sister, Doc… I mean, Brian. I never thought I could actually felt this way. We always teased each other from the beginnin'." Danny grinned, remembering their interactions "She's the only one who can puts me at my place, ya know?"

"I know, believe me! She does that a lot…"

"We worked a lot of cases together and that brought us close. Lately, she's been… I don't know… Weird, not actin' like she used to. She was always so focused on the job, diggin' deep into everythin', willin' to learn. These days she had been emotionally less controlled, on the edge…" Danny looked at his side and then back at Brian, almost expecting Brian might have the magic answer for Lindsay's changes of demeanour.

"I know what you're talking about. And before you ask, yes, I know the reason of that."

_I knew it!_ Danny thought. Silently he pried Brian Doherty revealed it, but knowing he wouldn't. He admired it. Danny himself wouldn't have said a word if he was on Brian's position.

"It's not my call to say a word about it, Danny. And I know you understand. Lindsay will tell you when she's ready. She doesn't trust a lot of people about her personal life, but here, if she's going to trust someone, it will be you. I know my sister enough to tell you that she's afraid of disappoint you, that you step away---"

"Not a chance!" Danny's answer was firm and even he was surprised with his vehemence.

Brian smiled "There is one thing I can tell you about my sister, though."

* * *

Lindsay walked to her brother and saw Danny sat right next to him, talking. She frowned, but went towards them. 

"Good to know you two are getting along…" her voice had a bit of sarcasm on it, but she was secretly thankful for that.

"I was hoping you suggest a restaurant, but you're here about a year, so I guessed a native New-Yorker would have better suggestions."

"Well, my Italian side always speaks louder, so my suggestion was _Il Palazzo_. It's not expensive, good food, fine environment."

"Thanks for the tip Messer."

"You're welcome Montana!" he smiled, watching her arching an eyebrow on the use of her nickname "You better go or you won't get a table. Nice to meet you Brian."

"Thanks. Same here." they shook hands in the presence of a very shocked Lindsay, that felt something was escaping from her perceptiveness "Let's go, sis. I have to hit the road tonight."

* * *

It was almost midnight. Lindsay was at her living room, sat on the couch, lights off, knees embraced by her arms and chin on top of them. It had been a long two days for her, a total riot of emotions. She looked at the magnolias on her side table and remembered her brother's words when they were dinning. 

"_You can't hide behind what happened forever. You stopped living Lindsay. At least the way you deserve it. You're an incredible woman and I am proud of what you became. I want you to awake up from that numbness and get what life is offering you. I'm not saying for you to forget it, but you have to leave it behind. Otherwise you'll continue to hurt yourself and worst, you'll hurt other people. And I'm not just talking family here, Linds. You know what I mean. And I know you – you couldn't live with the thought of Danny hurting because of you. Knowing you could have stopped it. You didn't have that chance four years ago, but you have it now. When I wanted to propose Sue and talked to you about it, you told me life was made of choices, remember. Well, it's time for you to make one."_

'Tonight I wanna cry' from Keith Urban was playing on her stereo, silent tears falling down her face while she, once again, lived this same date, from four years ago, sensing once more the chaos, the pain, the guilt… And the song just kept playing…

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control_

Cell phone rang.

_To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

Cell phone rang again and whipping her tears, clearing her voice Lindsay picked it up (she was on call, after all) "Monroe."

"'Night Montana." Danny's soft voice was on the other side of the line. The sound of his voice was everything she wanted to hear; everything she needed and she almost sobbed at the warmth she felt when she heard it.

"Danny…uh…" her voice cracked a little, but she regained some sound again "Is there any case?"

"No… Just me here, waiting for your permission to come in…"

"What?" she passed a hand through her messy hair, instinctively wiping her tears "Where are you?"

"Outside your apartment."

"Are you downstairs?"

"Na… Lovely Mrs. Mallory let me in."

"How? It's almost midnight!" Lindsay didn't believe Danny was there. He was joking around like always.

"She came to open the door to a neighbour of yours that forgot the key. And she saw me. And let me in. I guess she couldn't resist my charm." he giggled "C'mon Montana. Open the door."

"Right, like you'd be right there..." she walked to open the door because it was impossible Danny being there. He wasn't that crazy! Was he?

"Hey Montana!" he smiled when she opened the door and froze on her place, stunned, cell phone oh her ear "You can shut it down now." Danny pointed the cell, shutting down his own and putting it on his jacket pocket "Can I came in?" Lindsay was just staring at him shocked, with no ability to react at all. That couldn't be happening!

Since Lindsay didn't respond, he got in "Wow! It's dark in here!"

Lindsay finally moved and mechanically closed and locked the door, shut down her cell and switch on two small lamps with a pale light. She couldn't stand a full illuminated room right now.

"This is for you." Danny came closer and handed her a bouquet of three beautiful orchids "Do you know what they mean?" even with the pale light he hadn't miss the puffy red eyes and the tired look she had. All signs that she still suffering. And he would give anything to wash it away.

"Yes, I do." she answered him on a small voice, step by step regaining some control of herself. She went to the petite kitchenette and she got out of there with the orchids in a jar, putting them next to the magnolias.

Danny followed her all the time, studying her movements, giving her time to adjust to his presence in there. They both knew that tonight she was going to have to open up.

"Thank you Danny. They're beautiful."

"Looks like I found a new way to communicate with you…" he joked, half-serious. Lindsay laughed lightly, her eyes on the orchids and he shivered instinctively. How he had miss that sound!

"Why are you here?" Lindsay directed her gaze at him, watching him fully for the first time since he got in: faded jeans, tight navy-blue shirt and a black jacket. Every single piece fitted him perfectly and Lindsay gulped, cursing him for being so damn tempting and cursing herself for not being able to resist it.

"In ten minutes you're gonna turn twenty-nine." he said, checking his watch.

"What?" Lindsay's surprise was obvious. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind "How do you know that---"

"That tomorrow is your birthday? Do I need to answer it?"

"No." she realized what happened "You don't. Brian told you." he just nodded "So, he must have told you I don't celebrate my birthday." he nodded again "So what do you want Danny?"

"I want to know why." his calm and serene response caught Lindsay off guard and she gave in. She was tired of hiding it, pretend her life was perfect and act as if her behaviour had always been exemplary.

"Can I get you anything, Danny?"

He suppressed the need to say 'You are enough' and chose to joke a little more "You owe me a hot chocolate, remember?" his grin was mischievous when he looked at her in the eyes and for a few moments they were back at her entrance door, where they shared the first kiss.

"You're impossible!" she turned to the kitchenette again "Lucky for you, I just made hot chocolate." she reached two mugs while Danny took off his coat, letting it at the back of a chair. He had just sat up on the couch when she approached offering him one of the mugs.

"Thanks." he took a sip "This is good. This is really good! Where did you learn to do a hot chocolate like this?"

"Family tradition." Lindsay had sat on the couch facing Danny, with her back leaned on one of the couch's arms, both her legs on the couch, knees up, while she grabbed the mug with both hands, staring at the liquid chocolate inside of it "Back home, we used to sit around the fireplace, with hot chocolate, telling stories… Real ones, imaginary ones, reading it from books or inventing it ourselves… It didn't matter. We just sat there, telling stories." she looked straight at him, no hesitation on her gaze, only the need to know that she could trust him. His eyes replied not leaving hers, assuring her he was there for her "I wanna tell you a real story. My real story. Are you sure you're ready to hear it?"

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**A/N:** The restaurant _Il Palazzo_ is real and exists in Little Italy, NY (internet research).

The flower meanings are also real (I have this 'thing' for flowers, so…: magnolias nobility, dignity; orchids you know, love.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** First of all **thank you so much to all of you that have reviewed the prior chapters** and **thank you to all of you that are following this story**.

I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but family issues got in the way.

This chapter was really hard for me to write. It's about Lindsay's past and I was afraid I couldn't handle it the way I should and the way the character deserves.

On italic words we have Lindsay's past.

Your reviews are really important, so read it and tell me what you think of it. Point whatever you want, grammar mistakes, what you would have done different, best part, worst part, whatever you're feeling over this story, just say it. **Please, please, read and review it**. As I said I was a little insecure about this chapter, so it means A LOT what you might think about it.

**Disclaimer:** Just own the idea and Lindsay's relatives. The rest – not mine.

Thanks for reading it. :)

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**Chapter Five**

"I'm more than ready Lindsay," Danny reclined in the couch. "And I have all the time in the world." He said softly.

Lindsay was nervous. He could tell by the way she grabbed her mug, by the way she didn't look at him, keeping her gaze down, by the way her voice trembled when she asked if he was ready to hear her story… She was nervous and afraid and the only thing Danny could do was assure her that it didn't matter what had happened, what really mattered was her and her meaning to him.

Danny approached her on the couch and felt her pushing away, crawling more into herself, closer to the couch's arm. He touched her arm, anyway, stroking it slowly. "You don't have to say anythin' you don't want to. I just want you to know that you can trust me and that I'm not goin' anywhere, 'cause there's nowhere else I'd want to be…"

Lindsay looked up and smiled sadly. "You don't know what happened. You can't possibly say you won't change your mind about me," her voice was tremble, but steady at the same time "or your feelings, for that matter…" she blushed a little when she said that. She sighed. "I don't even know where to start…"

"I would say that the beginnin' is a good idea, but I really don't care… You can start by the end of it or the middle. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. As long as you know that you can tell me anythin'… anythin', Montana. There is no way my feelins will change." Danny was looking at her tenderly. He took her mug of her hands and put both her and his on the small table in front of them. He took her hands on his, squeezing them delicately.

Lindsay looked at their hands and kissed one of his hands, letting go her hands after that and getting up from the couch. She went towards her window and stared at the city lights. Danny followed her with his gaze, pushing back the will of going close to her. He knew she needed some time to let everything sink in and to figured out how to tell him 'her real story'. He just waited…

"Have you ever heard about Huntington's Disease?" Lindsay spoke and caught Danny off guard. His eyes widened open and he got up from the couch. She stilled staring outside her window, her own arms embracing herself…

"What?"

"Have you ever heard about Huntington's Disease?" she repeated the question.

"Yeah… I mean, I don't know much about it," Danny was behind her, fighting the need to get closer, hands on his pockets to resist the temptation of touch her. "It's a genetic disease, right?" She just nodded. "Wait… Uh- Are you… Hum, I mean…" he was rubbing his forehead, trying to find out a way of questioning her.

"No Danny. I don't have it." The relief on his face was obvious, but it lasted only a few seconds because when she turned to him he noticed how that subject affected Lindsay.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Danny." She put a hand on his arm, squeezing it and smiled a little. "I know that it would be one of your thoughts when I talked about this with you, so I wanted to let this clear from the beginning…"

He took the chance and pulled her to him, holding her close. She didn't resist and buried her face on his strong chest, breathing in his scent and getting some strength to carry on and tell him the whole story. He deserved to know. He had proved to her that she could trust him. He had showed that he cared for her… a lot. She had nothing to loose. She might even win something over all this.

Lindsay pulled away and turned around again, facing the window and leaning her back on Danny's chest. He put his arms around her waist, letting her adjust to his body and found a secure fit on it. He didn't push her to talk. He kissed her temple and let his lips rest there.

She wasn't ready to face him. Not yet… She would, sooner or later, but she just needed to put herself together. So she started what it seemed to be the easiest part (if there was any part easy at all).

"Huntington's Disease is a genetic disease, a degenerative brain disorder that diminishes people's ability to walk, think, talk and reason. It has no treatment or cure and it's hereditary. If someone has Huntington's Disease that person's kids had a 50 chance of inheriting the gene that causes the disease." Lindsay's voice was calm, almost like she was having a professional conversation. "Ultimately a person with Huntington's will depend entirely on others to live because the body will have no coordination, it will have involuntary movements and the speech, swallowing, balance and walking abilities will deteriorate."

Tears had started to fall through Lindsay's face, but Danny hadn't noticed. He was feeling his chest constrict and fearing what could come next. Not for him, but for Lindsay. He sensed how it had hurt her and how it hurt talking about it. He tightened his grip on her waist and she leaned her head on his shoulder, sighing and caressing his hands with her own.

"The short-term memory, concentration and coping skills, mental organization gets extremely affected. The person will have high levels of anxiety and irritability, mood swings, depression, aggressive outbursts. Eventually won't be able to do anything on her own. Most of the time a person with Huntington's does not die from the disease itself, but from other illnesses that the body can't fight anymore, like pneumonia. Once the symptoms appear, a person with Huntington's has a lifespan of ten to twenty years." She stopped for a while, but then moved on. "My father found out he had Huntington's twelve years ago."

"What?" Danny couldn't stop the shock on his voice when he turned Lindsay around in order to face him. He saw her wet face and just cupped it with his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "Oh, Linds…" he closed his eyes and brought her back to his chest, cursing everything and everyone that had put her through this. He ran a hand through her hair and kissed the top of his head, feeling his shirt getting wet with Lindsay's tears. She wasn't sobbing, just not fighting the tears.

"He was always falling around and bumping into the furniture. In the beginning we joked, telling he was clumsy." Her voice was muffled by Danny's chest but he didn't mind because he understood what she was saying and she was exactly where she belonged: his arms. "But then he started to forget new things that had been told minutes before and he didn't seem to treat the horses the same way he used to. One day he fell from the stairs. My mom got really worried and took him to the hospital. They run a lot of tests and found out he had Huntington's." Lindsay disentangled from Danny's embrace and wiped her tears. She grabbed Danny's hand and directed them to the couch again.

"I need to sit down. I feel like I'm gonna collapse any moment."

"It's okay Linds," Danny's eyes scanned her face and he touched it gently. "You don't have to go on if you don't want to. I can see how this is disturbin' you." His soft tone was what pushed Lindsay to her final decision.

"No Danny. I want to tell you." Her voice was hoarse, both from crying and fear. "My brother is right. All this mess is stopping me from feeling, from living and I can't take it anymore. It's affecting my job and the people I care about," At this point she looked straight to Danny's eyes and they came closer until theirs foreheads met. "And it's affecting you too and I can't let that happen…" she whispered.

Danny grabbed her face and his lips touched hers soothingly. Lindsay responded, deepening the kiss. A slow and gentle kiss. Danny wanted Lindsay to feel that nothing she'd say would scare him. Lindsay wanted Danny to know that he already had her, that she had surrendered to him.

They broke the kiss softly and when Lindsay opened her eyes and their gaze locked, she knew she didn't have to be afraid because his expression showed his strong feelings for her. She hugged him by his shoulders, a small gasp on her throat covering a sob. Danny held her by her waist, his face on the crock of her neck, wishing and praying that he could give her some comfort.

He adjusted himself on the couch, leaning his back against the arm and brought Lindsay with him, placing her between his legs, her back fully on his chest, one of his arms firmly around her waist, the other one around her shoulders, while Lindsay let her head fall on his shoulder and placed her arms above his, intertwining theirs fingers. She whispered a 'thank you' and he kissed her soft brown hair, savouring, for some moments, the perfection of their union.

"When my father found out he had Huntington's the doctors told him he could have passed the gene to me or my sister Diana. Not to Brian, of course, 'cause he's not his biological son." Lindsay felt Danny nodding at her statement. "My mom panicked and wanted to know how we could find out if we had it or not. The doctors suggested both of us to run some of the same tests my dad have done before. I was seventeen at the time, my sister was twelve. I was trying really hard to understand what the hell was going on, but for Di was too confusing and she always hated needles." A smile spread on Lindsay's face remembering it.

"_Di, c'mon, you'll see it won't hurt a thing. Sweetie, I need you to do this." Helen Monroe was pleading her daughter._

"_Hey, Diana, we'll do it together. What do you think?" a young Lindsay Monroe looked at the doctor, silently asking if it was possible both of them do the blood tests at the same time. She looked at her younger sister that seemed to like that idea. She was already smiling and offering her hand to Lindsay._

"_Okay, I think we can manage that." The doctor smiled and the relief that crossed Helen Monroe's face was obvious, as her extreme concern on what the results might be._

_Lindsay and Diana Monroe sat, side by side, extending their left arms. Lindsay crossed her right arm under her left, so she could grab her sister's right hand. They looked at each other, smiling. Lindsay squeezed Diana's hand while the nurses gathered their blood to run the tests. Helen was prying for a negative result._

"Di was always extremely protected by all of us. She was the younger one, she almost died twice – when she was born they had to put her on an incubator and when she was seven she was hit by a car. She was the centre of my family because all of us wanted to protect her from any harm. And besides that she was really sweet and kind and so beautiful!"

Danny couldn't help but think _You're beautiful! And you have no idea how beautiful you are. And that makes you even more beautiful. If that's possible…_ He was dragged back to reality by Lindsay's voice.

"She had my mom green eyes and dark red hair. She was a force of nature. She never stopped – she helped my parents, she played the piano, she practiced ballet, she was at the Astronomy Club and English Club since her 6th grade and she had this amazing capacity of always being available to help everybody."

"You're talking in the past tense, Montana." Lindsay looked up at him, facing the sweetness that his eyes had exclusively for her. She turned on Danny's lap, putting her head on his chest, under his chin.

"My test came negative, but Diana's came positive…" The sound that left Lindsay's mouth wasn't more than a murmur and Danny had to use all his concentration to hear it. When he realized what she had said, he just wished all of it had been a bad dream and that this woman, his woman, hadn't suffered such a wound. He stroked her hair and smoothly touched her face with his knuckles, encouraging her to continue.

Lindsay cleared her throat. "When we found out Diana's results we couldn't believe. It just couldn't be real, you know? Not to her, not to us… I mean, we already had my dad like this and having my little sister was…," She swallowed hard. "Too painful to be truth Danny."

"I can't imagine, Lindsay. I wanted to say I can, but I just can't…" The honesty and the sorrow on his voice strongly hit Lindsay and in that moment she knew she was doing the right thing, because he wasn't pretending he knew how much the Monroe family had suffered, because he wasn't trying to make her believe that everything was okay when they both knew it wasn't. He was listening to her and right now it was all she needed.

"You don't have to, Danny." She kissed his chest. "My dad reacted really bad. He felt he was guilty because he had the disease and he drifted apart from everybody. I was the one that could actually reach him and I couldn't get that closer. Deep down I think my mom silently blamed him too, although she never told anything. My brother tried to hold us all together, you know? We knew that Diana wasn't having too much time left and her symptoms were starting to appear. The younger the age of onset, the more rapid the disease progress. So we tried to live the best we could, as normal as possible. I went to college, took Biology, then I went to a Forensic Biology conference and got passionate by crime scene investigation. I joined the force as soon as I left college. My dad was responding to medication, but not Di. Her body had been infected too soon and its defences weren't enough to fight the disease along with the meds. She dropped school when she was sixteen because she couldn't write like before, didn't learn the same way and she started to have involuntary movements in the middle of the classes. So, we were teaching her at home. Between the four of us we were handling it. But she was getting really depressed, she knew how she was going to end and she didn't want to. She was losing this battle and there was nothing we could do about it." Her voice cracked and the tears that were threatening to fall were now free to run down her face.

"_I'm telling you Linds! I don't wanna live like this. God, in a few years I won't be able to take a bath by myself. Do you ever wonder how that feels when you're eighteen? I don't want it Lindsay. I don't want to end up paralyzed – body and brain. I deserve better!" she tossed a glass against the kitchen wall, breaking it into pieces._

"_Di, don't talk like that. We love you! You, hon! And we want you with us the longer it's possible. And yes, you deserve better. You deserve to live. Don't give up on that, Diana. Please…"_

"_I'm even screwing up everyone's life. Mom has to take care of dad and me ant the same time; You didn't left this home 'cause you're helping them, although your job at the force allows you to pay for a small apartment in downtown; Brian and Sue built their house here in the ranch to help mom with me."_

"_That is not true Diana Monroe! Bri is a vet and he's responsible for the animals here and you know it. And he's also responsible for a bunch of other animals in other ranches."_

"_And his wife always have to go to the city to work at the museum and you hardly sleep at all 'cause you're working like hell 'cause you're a rookie and you even have to come home to take care of me and to teach me stuff that I'll never learn!" Diana yelled, falling on her knees, sobbing uncontrollably._

_Lindsay bent down, holding her sister, crying with her. "I wanted to tell that I understand you, but I don't. All I know is that I love you, we all love you and we want to help you and we don't wanna loose you, Di. None of us can imagine this place without you." Diana cried on her sister's arms, letting go all her pain, all her frustration, all her desperation. "Nothing of this is your fault, sweetheart. Or daddy's. And I still live here because I want to be close to you and dad and mom and I know Brian built his house here because he loves you to death, loves dad like he was his own and he loves this ranch too much to leave. This place is also is life, Di, along with all his family. It's okay to feel mad, angry, sad, miserable, but don't doubt, not for one second, that we love you and nothing is gonna change that."_

"_I'm not angry or sad Lindsay. I'm just tired. Too tired…"_

"After that, Diana tried to kill herself twice. First time I found her in the bathroom. She had slit her wrists. I called 911, my mom came running 'cause she heard me scream. My dad and my brother were outside and I run there to call them. We didn't wait for the ambulance and we took her to the hospital on Brian's truck. The second time my brother went to her bedroom to pick up a CD and he found her asleep with a bottle of pills on her hand. We run to the Hospital again and after that we never left Diana alone. Between my brother, my mom, my sister-in-law, me and even my dad we took turns to take care of her, to prevent her from doing it again."

"My God, Linds! How hard it must've been…" Danny couldn't put into words how it was ripping him apart the acknowledgment of Lindsay's past. He now realized the reasons of Lindsay's denies on telling him her story.

She wasn't afraid that he might stop love her or that he might love her less. She was afraid he might pity her. She was afraid that he might misread his feelings for her and that he might confuse love and compassion. But he knew better than that. Right now the petite woman he had in his arms had his fully admiration for having such strength and such ability to fight for life.

Danny cupped her face and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "Why did you leave, babe? What made you left?" Lindsay snuggled more into Danny's embrace.

"Four years ago, my birthday's eve… It was exactly four years ago… I had started as a field CSI and my shifts were a little more demanding, so I couldn't stay with Diana as much as before. That morning my mom and I were making breakfast in the kitchen…"

"_What time is it, Lindsay?" Phillip Monroe asked his daughter, grabbing a glass of milk with both hands in order to not let it fall._

"_7:05, daddy."_

"_When does your shift start?"_

"_8:30. But I'm pulling a double today. Aarons is short-handed." Lindsay responded, referring to her boss._

"_So, do you think you can take me and Di to downtown?" Helen was making some toasts. "She has an appointment with Dr. Martins at 8:30. If you took us there your brother can stay with your father. They had some work to catch up on the cow-sheds."_

"_Sure. No problem. Better wake up Di, then. When I went to her bedroom an hour ago he was sleeping hard. Snoring, actually." Lindsay grinned and her parents giggled._

_Laughs at the ranch had become rare, so it felt good when Lindsay saw her parents with smiles spread on their faces. Although lately they've been laughing more: Phillip was responding to treatments (he was loosing some skills, but he was fighting firmly against the disease), Diana was more serene and Brian and Sue's kids (Joyce and Kyle) had brought a new light to the Monroe's place._

_Lindsay left the kitchen, walking upstairs, to her sister's bedroom. The moment she opened the door, she put a hand on her mouth. No one was there. She went to her own bedroom, she looked in the bathroom, her parent's room, even Brian's room, now used as a second office (mostly by Lindsay). Diana wasn't in any of the rooms._

"_Oh my God!" She run down the stairs, calling her parents louder as she could. "Mom, mom… Daddy, Daaaad!" She burst into the kitchen, both her parents looking at her in shock. "Diana is missing. She's not in her room."_

"_What you mean 'she's missing'?" Panic filling Helen's voice. "That's impossible! She was there an hour ago, right? You saw her, Lindsay! You told us she was asleep!" Helen was yelling now._

"_Are you sure Lindsay? She's not in the bathroom or anything?" Her father was trying to sound calm, but he didn't like the aspect of this situation._

"_I'm sure. I looked on every room upstairs. She's nowhere!"_

"We looked everywhere in the ranch for her. My brother went to the closest neighbours. No one had seen her. I called my boss and told him what was happening. He said I should go to work and fill a missing report. He talked to my parents and asked them to stay at home, in case Di returns. And he sent an officer to the ranch, to talk to my parents and eventually stay with them. I went to work, but I begged my boss to join the searching team. I wasn't able to focus on my work anyway. He didn't agree at the beginning, but I pushed so hard that he let me join them. As long as I didn't interfere with the investigation."

"Well, then I can see where that stubbornness comes from. And I've to admit that you have a hell of a persuasion' skills, Montana."

Lindsay giggled softly and Danny smirked. He felt good for seeing in her another reaction than tears. He loved to see her smile. He loved her smile. But most of all, he loved that he was the one that caused her to smile.

"You're not tired Danny?" He frowned. "I mean, I'm here talking and talking; you're there listening and listening…"

"First of all I could never get tired of bein' with you or listen to your voice, specially when you're openin' up to me. My question is: are YOU tired?" he touched the tip of her nose with his finger, teasing her a little bit. "How are you feelin'?" His tone was more serious now.

"Better than before. It's been easier than I thought it would. I know I've said that a lot lately, but thank you Danny. You've been amazing with me."

He caressed her face and gave her a light kiss on her lips, pressuring enough to make her feel warmer and safer. "You want to go on or…?"

"I've started this, so I might as well finish it." She assumed her position against his chest and he slid one of his hands under her pyjama's shirt. He came in contact her skin and she shivered, but when he attempted to remove his hand, she didn't let him, holding it on the spot he had been caressing, the small of her back. "Don't… It feels good." Danny traced small circles there, calming her down. He sensed that what was coming was the tough end of a difficult life-story.

"_What time is it George?" Lindsay asked to one of the Bozeman PD's Detective that were searching for Diana when they left one of the many houses they've been visiting all day, asking if anyone had seen Diana Monroe. The dark, shut night engulfed them, while they were walking to the car._

"_It's 10:30, Lindsay." He saw the rookie CSI bury her head in her hands, gasping and holding back a sob._

"_What am I gonna tell my parents? It's been more than thirteen hours, George."_

"_Calm down, Lindsay. We're not given up. And this city isn't that big. And we know she didn't buy any bus ticket or plane ticket. We have bus' stations covered and the airport too, so she's not living the city. She's here and we'll find her." He patted her shoulder and they got in the car._

_A few minutes later Lindsay's cell rang._

"_Monroe."_

"_We found your sister, Lindsay. It's in a warehouse near Bozeman High. Lin…" She hung up her cell, not giving the chance to her boss finish the sentence._

"_She's in a warehouse, near Bozeman High."_

"When I got there she was… God…she," Lindsay started to cry again, harder this time. "Her body was… My God…" She put a hand on her mouth, trying to control her sobs while flashes of her sister were assaulting her mind. Danny held her tight, whispering words that he begged, could bring her some solace.

"She was dead, Danny!" Lindsay was sobbing intensely now, Danny's eyes full of tears that he wasn't capable of hold on any longer. "She-she was lying on her stomach, like-like,…"

"Like Carensa Sanders." Danny completed, his voice tremble, remembering how much that case had got into her. And he could totally understand why.

"Hum-hum," Lindsay nodded. "She found one of my dad's gun and she- she shot herself. She left this note, saying 'I can't take it anymore'. I was late, Danny. I didn't find her sooner and I couldn't save her. My sister… my little sister…" She grabbed Danny's shoulders and she cried like she hadn't done before. Between the strength and safety of his arms she cried four years of sorrow, pain and guilt.

The only thing he could do was keep her there, in his grip. And he did it. But he couldn't pretend anymore and his own tears found its way through his face ending up on Lindsay's head, firmly placed under Danny's chin.

They stayed like this for a while, seeking comfort and support on each other, giving comfort and support to each other.

Lindsay's sobs slowed down until they become quiet tears. She lift her head and looked at Danny, tears sparkling his eyes. He tried to smile and he managed to put out a tiny one.

"I didn't want to make you feel this way, Danny. I'm sor---"

"Shhh…" Danny placed a finger on Lindsay's lips. "Don't, Lindsay. I'm okay. I'm reactin' like this 'cause I can't imagine how it has been for you all this time, 'cause I can't imagine how your family suffered. No one should've experience that, but you of all people Lindsay," He placed a hand on her cheek. "You shouldn't have to live with so many pain and guilt. There was nothin' more you could have done. None of you could." She closed her eyes, leaning on his touch and she sighed.

"Rationally I can agree with you Danny, but at the same time I can't forget how my mom reacted when I told her."

"_What? She's dead? No! NOOOOOOOO!" Helen Monroe screamed painfully when her older daughter told the Monroe family they had found Diana's body in a warehouse. "She didn't kill herself. She wouldn't do that! You're wrong! You're wrong Lindsay!"_

"_I'm so sorry, mom. I didn't want to believe it either, but," Lindsay was crying, voice braking at any spoken word. "I saw her mom. I saw her."_

_Helen walked towards Lindsay. "You should have known where she was. She was you sister. She trusted you more than anyone else." Helen slapped Lindsay. "You should have known." Another slap. "You're a cop! You should have known!" She yelled, slapping Lindsay until a wrecked Brian grabbed his mother, encircling her in his arms._

"_Enough mother! That's enough! Don't do this. You lost one daughter. You don't have to loose another one. It's no one's fault, mom. Not yours, not mine's, not dad's and not Lindsay's. Diana knew what life she'll have to live and she didn't want it. She made a choice. And there was nothing more we could do mom. Please, mom… We need each other right now, please…"_

_Helen got up and went to her bedroom, not saying any other word._

"The next day my brother and I went to pick up the autopsy's result, so we could arrange things for Diana's funeral."

"The next day, your birthday day…" Danny whispered. Lindsay nodded.

"Yeah… My brother remembered and tried to bring it up, but I shut him down. I wasn't in the mood for the 'happy birthday' sentence." Lindsay was again leaned on Danny's chest, but they were now fully laid down on the couch. "When we got home my mom hadn't left the room and my dad was staring at older pictures. He came to us and hugged both of us. And we stayed like that for a long time. Things were never the same… My mom hardly talked to anyone. She lived between her flowers and her room. And we drifted apart. Eventually I left my parent's ranch and rented a loft in downtown. I didn't visit them often as I could. It hurt to much going there. I felt like-like I wasn't part of that place anymore, like I wasn't welcome… I know it wasn't like that, but I was aware that each time my mom looked at me she saw my sister's death and I couldn't take that gaze. So I didn't go there for a while, using my work as an excuse, although I was actually working like hell."

"Did you ever talk to your mom again?"

"We were never that close in the first place and we never stopped talking completely. But time and a little help from Brian," Lindsay smiled remembering how much her brother had committed himself to hold the family together. "put both of us back on tracks. We'll never have the same kind of relationship. Almost two years after Diana... uh... hum..." She didn't want to pronounce the word. "After Diana is gone, I started to visit them more frequently, baby-sitting my nephew and niece, taking care of my dad... I guess step by step I was starting to feel that I belonged again. But then…"

"Let me guess… Mac's invitation?"

"Yap. You should have becoming a Detective, you know?" She teased him. Danny laughed quietly, kissing her forehead. "I didn't know what to say when my boss told me that Mac Taylor had noticed my blood spatter's analysis in a high profile case here in Bozeman. When he mentioned New York I thought I was dreaming. I talked to my brother and he told me I should get this, 'cause it was a one time chance. So, I talked to my parents and…"

"They didn't like the idea."

"My mom didn't really give any opinion on it. My dad hated it. He didn't talk to me for months after I left. I called home and I only talked to Brian or Sue. Sometimes my mom. But never my dad. I always asked Brian to tell him that I love him, though." She wiped some tears. "I feel that I failed with all of them; I let my mom down when I didn't found my sister alive, I let my dad down when I left him behind, knowing he might not live for much longer; I even feel I let Brian down, although he never said anything to me, because I left him with all the responsibilities – the ranch, help my mom, take care of my dad - that is not his dad…" She pointed. "I walked on them, I turned my back on them, I left them behind and I hate myself for it. Because I don't know if I'll ever have the strength to face that reality again." Lindsay cried.

"Linds, baby," Danny cupped her face with both hands, cleaning up the tears with his thumbs. "You didn't fail on them. You went to live your life. You would've failed if you've been trapped in a life that was makin' ya feel miserable. They love yoaLindsay! It's impossible not to…" His eyes were speaking volumes, although his words hadn't translated it. "Your brother worships ya. You should've heard what he told me about ya earlier. And I don't know your mom or your dad, but I'm pretty sure that your dad just didn't want ya away from him. He lost one daughter and he's afraid of loosin' another, specially if it involves movin' to the Big Apple. And your mom, Lindsay, I think she doesn't know how to deal with it. I don't believe she really blames ya for anythin'." He finished with a gentle tone.

"Now I can understand why you and Brian got along so well. He told me something like that over dinner, tonight."

Danny smiled openly, but his mind was travelling somewhere else. It has been too long and he missed Lindsay's lips. He looked at her, asking for permission before leaning down to capture her lips. She allowed him entrance, parting her lips instinctively. She moaned at the feeling of his tongue savouring her lips as she was doing the same with his lips. He slowly explored every inch of her mouth as if for the first time… And it was like the first time. It was the first time he was kissing her knowing everything about her past. It was the first time that Lindsay was given in with no barriers. And he realized how hungry for her touch he had been.

They slowly broke the kiss and Lindsay ran her hands all over Danny's face, feeling each inch of it. Danny closed his eyes and gulped, revealing in her tenderness.

"Thank you Danny." She whispered, emotionally. He opened his eyes, looking deep down at her chocolate ones, full of promises.

"No, baby… Thank you… For makin' me feel this way and for lettin' me in."

They hugged tight and long, feeling the peace, the complicity and the warmth that was involving them now.

When they pulled apart, Lindsay looked down at her hands, her mind roaming far away. Danny put a finger under her chin, lifting it up.

"Penny for your thoughts…" He spoke carefully.

"After talk to my brother and to you too, I made a decision." Lindsay looked up at Danny's questioningly expression. "I should go home."

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**A/N:** It won't end up like this. It will have an epilogue (already working on it) with D/L all the way – the lack of D/L on CSI: NY episodes is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Okay, so I don't really know if I should stop this story here or if I should move on. So, let me know what you think.

Once again, thank you for all of you who reviewed the story and who kept reading it. And I am really sorry for the delay, but this had been a tough weeks for me…

I hope I handled this chapter okay, because as I said, things had been complicated and I wasn't sure if I should post it – I'm not certain I could make 'justice' to both Danny and Lindsay's characters. But I decided to post anyway and all of you, who read this, have been my major reason for it. :)

So, I hope you enjoy it and give me your feedback. I think you already know I do love reviews… Anything at all, even grammar mistakes.

And thanks for reading it.

Disclaimer as before.

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**Chapter Six**

Danny shook his head, expecting kick off some terrible thoughts that were assaulting his mind now…

"I'm sorry, did ya just say what I think ya said?"

Lindsay looked down at her own hands that were strongly gripped on each other.

"What do you mean, goin' home? Am I missin' somethin' here?" Danny didn't want to rush into conclusions. He had done that once in the afternoon (when he thought Brian was Lindsay's 'boyfriend') and it had cost him a hurt and angry Lindsay and a deep ache into his own heart and soul. But the ache appeared with full force again once she mentioned the word 'home'…

"Lindsay, talk to me…" he grabbed her on her arms, forcing her to look at him. "Montana…" Danny's voice had a dangerous low and paused sound that Lindsay didn't remember hear before.

"It's not like that… I mean, I-I…" She sighed. "Danny, I have to go home, talk to my parents. I have no idea how my father is right now. He's running out of time, Danny…!" She silently pleaded him to understand what she had to do.

"So, what are ya goin' to do? Lindsay," his head kept moving, his eyes trying to reach hers, as she continued to avoid it. "Don't run from me, damnit!" He spoke forcefully. "Don't hide yourself. Not again!"

"I don't know exactly what I'm going to do. I can't give you that answer. Not yet!" Lindsay ran her hands through her face and hair, putting it behind her hears.

"Danny, I have to get back and talk to my parents. We never actually talked after all that happened. I don't know what I can recover, but I have to know what it was left among all of us…" She approached Danny slowly and touched one of his cheeks, stoking it with her knuckles. "I'm going to Bozeman, but I'm coming back, Danny." Their gaze met and the relief on Danny's eyes was so intense that Lindsay almost feared what she was going to say next. "I just don't know how long it's gonna take…" she finished, biting her lip.

Danny swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He was tired of being supportive and comprehensive, just to be pushed away again. He didn't want to lose his temper with her. Not with her. And not in that moment.

Those couple of hours they had just shared had meant too much for him, so he couldn't jeopardize it that easily. And he knew she didn't need him to want a clarification about their situation. But he had been in the limit too. He didn't remember the last time he felt so many tears in his eyes over a woman. Maybe because it never happened before…

Right now he wanted to know what was his role in all of this. And he also wanted to tell her those silent words that never left his brain since he kissed her for the first time.

"Lindsay," He wasn't sure where to start. "I… I think you're right on wantin' to solve this." His controlled tone revealed his controlled anger and frustration.

"But…"

"But I want… No... I need to know where all of this leave us…" Danny pinched his nose after removing his glasses and closed his eyes again. Although he knew he had the right to ask her that, he also felt like a selfish bastard, seeming not to worry about her personal battle.

Danny had lift from the couch and was staring at the same city view Lindsay had stared before. He watched the city lights not really watching them.

"I know I sound like a cold jackass…" He turned around but the words died somewhere along the way to his mouth. Lindsay was inches from him, and her hand had just covered his lips, gently stopping him from continuing.

Danny looked at her, somehow like he was seeing her from the first time. She stilled the same tiny woman he saw in the Zoo, but her hair was now curled instead os straight. He liked it both ways, but he didn't understand why she only used it curled now. He had to ask her someday…

Her big brown eyes, full of energy at the time, were now red and puffy from crying, filled of sorrow and grief and other emotions Danny couldn't read at the moment.

Her body, her beautiful, small, compact body, that he always wanted to explore, once a big part of her defiant attitude towards him, was now tensed and used by her to lock herself from the world.

"Danny," her sweet voice dragged him from his reverie. Her hand switched from his mouth to his chest and she was looking at him, head slightly inclined. "You're not acting like a jackass. I don't want you to feel that. This is why I didn't want to tell you all of this…" She sighed.

"Why? Because ya thought I couldn't handle it?" He stepped away, hurt written on his features.

"No!" Lindsay grabbed his arm, not letting him go apart from her. "I know you can deal with it. Damn, you handled it great. You didn't run away, like everyone else." Danny's surprise didn't escape Lindsay's attention and she knew he would have some questions after that statement, but now wasn't the time. She reached for his hand and held it, pulling him a little closer to her.

"I went undercover and you backed me up, although you didn't agree with it. You asked me for dinner, I say yes and I stood you up… And you didn't rip my head off. You weren't even mad at me! You were worried!" Lindsay shook her head. "If it had been me in your place, I would've hunted you for hundreds of lives…"

Danny chuckled and Lindsay felt the tough tension lighten up.

"I asked you to talk to Carensa's mother and you did it and you get slapped and you didn't push me to open up to you. You just make sure I know you'll be here for me. Like now… How on earth could I ever think you wouldn't be able to deal with all of this? You always prove me the other way, Danny."

"So, why do I feel that you're pushin' me away? Again…"

"Because it's not fair, Danny."

"What do ya mean, it's not fair?"

"Bring you to all of this, put you in a middle of a mess that I don't even know how I will fix. I don't know what is waiting for me in Bozeman. I don't know how I will take my dad's condition, my mom's behaviour. I don't know how I will deal with a situation which I ran off almost a year ago. But I do know that it will probably be painful and I don't wanna put you through it, Danny. You've already been through a lot in your life… You have your own things, Danny. Your brother needs you on his recovery and…"

"And nothin', Montana." Danny cut her off. "Ya didn't drag me into 'this', as ya said. I want to be a part of this because it's important to ya and YOU are important to me." He cupped her face and stared intently at her eyes. "Your past, your story, your family is part of your life. I just wanna be a part of it too…" He whispered.

Lindsay encircled his neck with her arms and pressed her body against his, approaching her mouth from his ear, murmuring "You are Danny. You are…"

"Then, let me go with ya…" He pulled back enough to look at her.

"Danny…"

"Ya don't know what you're goin' to do and I can't tell ya that, but I can be close to ya in every moment of it. And maybe it will help ya figure out a better way to deal with everythin'." He touched her hair and even with his hands away from her face, Lindsay felt it like it was being tenderly stroked, because Danny's eyes were caressing it powerfully.

"I need to do this by myself, Danny. I'm the one who have to go and see what's still in Bozeman. I'm the one who have to talk to my father about his disease. I'm the one who has to speak to my mother and try to sort things out. I'm the one who has to go and visit that – that warehouse that I never visited again. It has to be me, Danny. I have to do all of this, so I can be free. Free to…" Lindsay stopped, looking at Danny that was expecting her to finish it.

"Free to what, Lindsay?" His soft tone didn't hide the anxiety he started to feel when he realized that could be the moment Lindsay would give in. She gulped and trembled a little, feeling the smooth touch of his hands on the small of her back, burning every spot he was caressing.

"Free to…" She closed her eyes, but in a second she opened them confidently and gazed at his blue ones, that had darkened in anticipation of what could happen. "Free to love you, Danny… Free to love you." She finally said it and Danny's world spun around when her intense words hit him.

He bent down and captured her lips with his, leaving no space to question what he wanted. Lindsay parted her lips and Danny took the silent invitation, thrusting his tongue in her mouth, in order to meet hers.

Lindsay's hands were roaming on his hair and she moaned into his mouth when she felt his hands split under her pyjama's shirt, frantically rubbing her back, from top to bottom.

Danny groaned and tightened his grip, when he realized Lindsay wasn't wearing a bra and his kiss became more intense, deeper and demanding.

Lindsay's body reacted to Danny's intents and she arched her back, her breasts fully pressed on his chest, enjoying the contact with his well-defined body that she longed to know better for too long.

When the lack of oxygen was too much, they pulled apart slowly, panting and burning on the fire they have created.

Danny looked at Lindsay, searching for some sign of regret, but the smile that was crossing her face was telling him something else.

"Wow, that was… Hum…"

"Wow is a good word…" Danny's forehead met Lindsay's and his voice, husky from the desire sent shivers through her spine. "That is 'us' when we are together, baby… Everythin' disappears and nothin' else matters. It's just you and me, Linds. You and me…"

Lindsay snuggled on Danny's strong arms that were lazily resting on her back, tracing random patterns on her skin.

"Don't go home without me, Lindsay." He pleaded and he felt her smile against his chest and then move her head to face him.

"Home is the wrong word, cowboy…"

"What?"

"Home is where the heart is and my heart is here with you. You are my home Danny…" Lindsay spoke emotionally and the same hazel eyes that were drowned on pain before, were now translating her deep feelings for him, with no fears, regrets or hesitations. Just the conviction of doing the right thing.

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**A/N:** Ok, I know it was shorter than the others… Sorry… I really need to know your opinion on this – if I should finish it here or if I should go on for a few more chapters. It only makes sense to go on if you like it enough. So, I'm waiting on your reviews.

When I mentioned Danny's brother, I'm assuming he's in recovery. Nothing has been mentioned on the show, but I think he probably left the hospital and is doing physiotherapy. Just my opinion. I haven't read anything that points me that.

And the Huntington's Disease I mentioned in the last chapter is real, as well as the symptoms and the consequences of this disease.


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